Three days from now my Honda CRV is bound to get a little bit dusty as I drive out of Chicago. After five great years here in the Second City I managed to acquire a ton of crap and unfortunately, or fortunately, my Mom-mobile can only fit so much. Tough decisions must be made. Below are some items that are on the edge. Input is encouraged.
The Butterfly Effect
Pros: The Ashton Kutcher & Amy Smart time traveling drama could make for a fantastic door stop at my next apartment. Additionally I’ll be reminded of the dangers of time travel every time I watch this riveting film.
Cons: The ridicule I’ll continue to receive from my friends for supporting Ashton Kutcher’s career. Since owning The Butterfly Effect, Ocean’s Twelve and All About the Benjamins my best friend has sworn to never take movie advice from me for the last ten years. This forced DVD purge is a chance to start down the road of movie redemption.
J. Crew Shorts
Pros: If invited to East Hampton I’ll have appropriate attire.
Cons: I’ll look like someone who goes to East Hampton.
Pros: I’ll always have a Halloween costume that will look like I put max effort in for the event.
Cons: I could be mistaken as pro Furry. Also I ordered this costume three years ago from a shady Chinese website. When it came in the mail there was an ominous smell coming from the head, and while I’m not a chemical weapons expert like Stan Goodspeed, I fear that smell could be at worst Anthrax and at best Asbestos.
Adam Dunn Bobblehead
Pros: It’s an Adam Dunn bobblehead that looks more like David Letterman than Adam Dunn. And he is dressed in Sonny Crockett’s signature attire.
Cons: None. I’m just showing off that I own this. If you knew me you would know that there is no way this was getting left behind.
Mike Vick Jersey
Pros: For starters this is now considered a throwback jersey. Vick, for better or for worse, is the quarterback for my beloved Eagles so I’ve got to support the guy.
Cons: I’m going look like I root for a guy that had a 18/14 touchdown to interception ratio last year and a career winning percentage of 58%.