2012 Tomorrowland Video Diary


For the 8 people unaware of Tomorrowland I’ll explain to you what it is.  Tomorrowland is a three day music festival that takes places towards the end of July in Boom, Belgium.  If you are a big techno/dub-step/808/trance DJ you must be a part of this event.

Welcome to Tomorrowland

Welcome to Tomorrowland

The craziest aspect is not that it all takes place in a random Belgium field, but that the cross section of people attending is as large as it is.  All you need to do is look at the hits on this YouTube video to understand exactly how big of a festival Tomorrowland is for techno music fans.  The number of hits is over 42 million and it was only uploaded in September.  Boom Goes the Dynamite, which as far as I’m concerned is the reason YouTube was invented, still has only 9 million hits and it was uploaded 7 years ago.

Whether we want to admit it or not this type of music is clearly THE music of the younger generation across the world right now.  My best guess as to why, since the most difficult phrases uttered in the songs are “Turn it up,” or “Lets go,” the music lends itself to people of all nationalities.  I still haven’t come across a full expose of this event so we need boots on the ground there for 2013.  It’s too big of an spectacle to ignore.

00:07…..  I want to know who wrote The Book of Wisdom and listen to their justification for including Tomorrowland.

00:36…..  Can we get Morgan Freeman to narrate the 2013 video?

01:10…..  Welcome to Dreamville!  That’ll be 15 euros for one 12 ounce bottle of water.

I'll stick with my Delta miles.

I’ll stick with my Delta miles.

01:20….  The tickets could cost $ 6.00 dollars and I still wouldn’t fly Tomorrowland Air.  It’s not even a half step up from Hooters Air, which I was forced to fly once when returning from Acapulco.  I had a full blown panic attack when they told the cabin that they were stopping to refuel in New Orleans.

Where are the North Koreans?

Where are the North Koreans?

01:43….  You could easily convince me that more countries are represented at Tomorrowland than at a UN summit. I’m already convinced more is accomplished at Tomorrowland than at a typical UN meeting.

If I'm going be a part of this madness for 3 days then all I want on the way there is some peanuts and a Grisham novel.

If I’m going be a part of this madness for 3 days then all I want on the way there are some peanuts and a Grisham novel.

02:03…..  There is my worst nightmare, being trapped in a steel coffin 30,000 feet in the air with glow sticks and techno music.

Death, is that you?

Death, is that you?

02:12….  Uhhhhhhhh

David Guetta just posted on your wall.

David Guetta just posted on your wall.

02:28….  Oh good the creepy literal facebook is back!

Flying elephants and life size spinning teacups are still 10X more bizare.

Flying elephants and life size spinning teacups are still 10X more bizarre.

03:01….  Tomorrowland was conceived by people that at one point in time were on acid, ecstasy, or peyote and yet it is still not half as weird as Disney World.

This guy also sat in that hut for two years looking for a snow leopard.

This guy also sat in that hut for two years looking for a snow leopard.

04:33…..  $ 100 bucks that guy in the wheelchair is a Brit.  They are the only people crazy enough to do that, and if you don’t believe me go back and watch Planet Earth.  All those guys that made it are Brits.

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.01.57 AM

04:45….   America, land of the free and home of the brave.

05:27…..  The production of this show rivals the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony.

Practicing dance routines that rival Usher or hitting play on your iPhone?

Practicing dance routines that rival Usher or hitting play on your iPhone?

05:47…..  If given the choice of being Bieber or Avicii I’m going choose Avicii every time.  He’s just as popular amongst the ladies and works half as hard.  It’s not even close.

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.05.35 AM

A Taster’s Choice moment

06:03….  That is pure joy right there.

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.05.57 AM

06:11…..  I had no idea techno music was part of the Samoan culture.

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.09.08 AM

06:42….   #Nature

Son, let me tell you about the first time I met your mother.

Son, let me tell you about the first time I met your mother.

06:44…..  #Truelove

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.09.50 AM

06:56…..  I’d still choose this pool over the Jersey Shore hot tub if I was forced to jump in one or the other.

Give grunge a chance

Give grunge a chance

07:01…..  When did all of the good looking girls of the world get together and decide that techno/dub-step/808 music would be the official music of hot girls?

07:31…..  I think I’d need to actually train for this event.  I’m not talking frat boy drinking tolerance training either.  I mean actual physical training, cause between my balky ankle and my newly developing carpal tunnel syndrome I’d fall apart in the first 12 hours.  Think of all the jumping and swaying you’ll be doing.

Go back to Brooklyn

Go back to Brooklyn

07:52….  Can we retire the mustache sunglasses and add it to the pile with Birkenstocks and the visor?

08:09….  What’s going on in that little room there?

08:30…..  The control these DJs exhibit over the crowd is Jim Jones-esque.

Armand Coleman is there in spirit

Armand Coleman is there in spirit

08:40…..  The cultural attaches of Greece.

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.17.52 AM

09:00….  How many pounds of confetti and streamers are used?  I’m terrible at determining something like that.

I'm going be such an overprotective parent.  Sorry kids.

I’m going be such an overprotective parent. Sorry kids.

09:17….  Living the dream or living a parent’s nightmare.

11:07…..  The Swedish House Mafia guy just said the following,  “You are legends.  You are heroes.  Thank you!”  Calling a bunch of drunk children grinding on one another legends and heroes might be a bit of an exaggeration.

Krzyzewskiville annex

Krzyzewskiville annex

12:09….  Tentville.  On the scale of sleeping arrangements tents for me falls somewhere in between stairs and U-haul trailer.

add on some strawberry gelato as well

add on some strawberry gelato as well

12:27….  My inner fat kid is wondering since this is such an international event at the food tents would I be able to order a chocolate croissant with a side of meatballs?

#FaceOff #MissionImpossible2

#FaceOff #MissionImpossible2

12:52….  #Doves #JohnWooWasHere

13:41….  90% certain the members of LMFAO were love children conceived at the first Tomorrowland.

15:42….  I have two major concerns with this event.  The first being enslaved into a human trafficking ring.  I’ve see Hostel and that is something that can’t be unseen.  My second concern would be cell phone service.  You’re in a field in the middle of nowhere Belgium.  Honestly how many cell towers do you think are there.

16:10…  I would need an IV of coffee hooked up to me by the third day.

18:16….  The fairytale continues…….

Screen Shot 2013-01-15 at 2.09.02 AM

All concerns and joking aside, someone needs to report on this event.  So Gawker or Grantland send me into the field and I will document the hell out of this experience.

Continued Reading…..

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