Nostalgia Week: Exclusive Car Sale


1994 Ford Taurus Luxury Sedan

RWD, 4 Doors, AM/FM Radio, Trunk, Coin Tray, 1.5 Cup Holders, Front Middle Seat

No Haggle Price $ 5.99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                             Call 1-900-HUSTLE

        

Mileage 5,456,398 approx
Body Style Lady Killer
Exterior 80’s Maroon/Ruby
Interior Silver Plush
Transmission Sure, it has one
Engine Yes
MPG Enough to make 5 trips to EA a week
VIN # WTF??

Vehicle Features

  • Ford windshield banner decal
  • Nokia 8410 phone charger
  • Flat spare tire
  • Discman with tape adapter
  • CD wallet with CrazySexyCool, The Chronic, Thriller, Nappy Roots, Doggystyle, Ready to Die, Wu Tang Forever, The Score, The Carnival, Slim Shady LP
  • Custom Pep Boys Ruff Ryders hubcaps
  • Mr. Jim sandwich in glove box
  • Trunk smells of FWOT (Fingers, Wings, Other Things)
  • Power windows
  • 12-15 empty Gatorade bottles
  • Shame

Additional Info……

You want this car.  You need this car.  Nicknamed the Road Warrior, this car will get you all the way to Ithaca, NY but won’t help with any decision making when there.  Once beat the Beast and Silver Bullet in a street race.  Might find Jersey Shore toll money.  Perfect for carpooling freshman and sophomores.  Also great for transporting people to parties, and has enough pick up to get out in a hurry when parents or police come knocking.  Handles terribly in snow so you’ll have an easy excuse to get out of school when it starts snowing.  Easy for front seat make out sessions since there is no center console.  Game sold separately. ……

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