The Reverse Jinx and Gambling Poison Are Real


I’d like to blame Ohio State’s poor shooting or their sudden propensity for turnovers, but the truth is I have to shoulder some of the blame for Ohio State’s loss to Witchita State last night.  After Ohio State’s abysmal first half, I assumed the game was all but over.  The second half started and it was more of the same, Ohio State was unable to make any baskets from anywhere on the court.

Disgusted I spun the channels for a bit periodically checking in on the Buckeyes.  Next thing I knew OSU had cut the lead to four and I was running up the stairs to grab my mom, an OSU alum, who had retreated to the comfort of her bed and Fox News.  Beginning to believe in Ohio State, I answered some of the taunting texts from my friends, when a new text popped up from my old roommate Will.

Will expressed is distaste for another potential Buckeye victory, and like a jabrony I answered his text before I realized what had just happened.  I was reverse jinxed by the god of gambling poison.

To clear things up I’ll give you a short history lesson.  My close friend Will is known throughout Chicago as one of the worst gamblers to place a bet, right up there with Worm from Rounders.  If he thought it was a lock for the Giants to cover three against a woeful Browns team, the Browns would win on a last second field goal.  With this knowledge I used it to my full advantage in the fall of 2011 to give the Ohio State football team one shining moment from what was the worst season in my lifetime.

Before Ohio State’s meeting with Wisconsin I alerted Will to the fact that OSU was actually favored in the game, and that Wisconsin covering was easy money.  I figured if I deployed the reverse jinx, which is heaping insincere praise on an opponent, AND using Will’s wagering venom OSU might be able to pull out a victory.  Will took the bait putting money on Wisconsin, and four quarters later Braxton Miller was heaving a lame duck ball into the open arms of Devin Smith to give the Buckeyes their most thrilling win of what was an otherwise wretched season.

Back to the present, the moment I acknowledged Will’s text, everything went downhill for Ohio State.  They missed their shot, turned the ball over and then the game was over.  I had been deceived by my friend in the same way I had once deceived him.

For that I apologize Buckeye Nation.  We’ll get them next year, and I promise I’ll have my buddy Will blocked.

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