What Is Ryan Not Doing?

A List Of Things Ryan Lochte Is Not Doing:

Speaking more eloquently than a 4th grader

Impressing any members of the Philadelphia media

Winning a medal at the 2016 Olympic Games

Steering clear of the local clinic to get checked for STDs

Staring in a television show that will last more than 13 episodes

Eating complex carbs

Avoiding child support payments within the next 18 months

Beating Michael Phelps

Not NOT indulging in alcohol and Mary Jane use

Reading a book

Receiving an Emmy

Giving a fuck



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