NFL Draft Diary


Welcome to the 2013 NFL Draft, or as it has been known for the last four months, “the weakest draft in recent memory.”  Couldn’t be more excited for the Eagles to have such a high pick when the consensus is the draft is devoid of top talent.  But hey the second and third rounds should be solid.

Oh good this years song is How You Like Me Know.  Little late to the game ESPN.

A 50 Cent appearance?  That whole who is better debate with Kanye seems to be put to rest.

Who are the people that volunteer to be a part of the fake concert for the promo?

The only people I recognize in the promo are Denard and Barkley.   Not a good sign.

I miss the days of the absurd suits.  The 90s were just more fun.  Sigh.  I also think each year Mel’s hair is a quarter inch lower than the previous year.  I’m also unimpressed with Mel’s tie choice.

How is Goddell being booed less vigorously than Stern?

Already starting a 2014 Super Bowl campaign?  Goddell’s butt is puckered so tight right now with Namath at the podium.

Big Red you’re on the clock!

I think Broadway Joe has become Cocktail Joe at this point.

Mel already trying to spin this into a better draft than it is.

Kudos to Geno Smith for shaving the racing stripes into his head

Mel’s Big Board this year is brought to you by Holiday Inn Express and the draft table is brought to you by Bud Light

Why has no team bought the rights to a draft pick yet?  Like the first pick of the 2013 NFL Draft is brought to you by Gillette and with the pick the Chiefs select….

How does KC have six pro bowlers when their offense ranked last?

I don’t see any way I’m not going be disappointed with the Eagles pick.  I’m hoping for Star Lolutliele (spelling???) Eagles are going end up with workout warrior Lane Johnson.  We all know how well those work out for the Eagles, see Mamula, Mike.

What trades and picks did Reid make that led to some of the best tackles in the NFL Jon?  He inherited Thomas and signed Runyan?

There’s that sound classic draft sound

So a MAC player goes first overall.  That says everything you need to know about this draft.

Yea Eric this is awesome, wait till you see your contract.

That’s what you want to hear Mel say about your pick, “He actually played down to his competition sometimes.”

Gruden, “This is what America is all about!”  Good lord.

I do wish Fisher the best, seems like a pretty normal guy.

Bud Light, 42 the movie, State Farm and GMC?  Is that who we have to thank for the commercial free hour of Mel Kiper vamping?

Blaine Gabbert is going throw how many more passes in the NFL?  8?  I think my roommates and I got more out of our crap Craiglist couch than the Jags are going get out of Gabbert.

I don’t quite get why the Chiefs went with Fisher over this guy.  Joeckel spent last season going up against the SEC pass rushers that are going be picked later tonight.

This pick is less of a wild card now with Al Davis having passed away.  If Davis were there he’d be picking Tavon Austin.  Without question.

Oakland really is the poorest drafting team of the last 15 years.

Lane Johnson does have the hot girlfriend in his corner right now.  Usually a good sign for confidence.

Old Man Winter is getting the pick right now.  Holy Old.

Well there you go. Dion Jordan is no longer a potential Eagle

Anytime you can select a LB that needs to add 30 pounds you have to trade up for him.  I respect the bow tie though.  Jordan looks more like an NBA Draft pick than NFL.

The Philly pick is already in?  Looks like I’m going get my workout warrior.  I’m not enthused.

Chip please don’t start off our relationship on a bad foot.

Intriguing is a nice word for this Eagles team.

Who isn’t excited about a QB turned TE turned OT.

He’s familiar with the no huddle.  Splendid.

On Lane Johnson:  If you watched his combine workout you wouldn’t think he was an offensive lineman.  Not sure how that is a compliment.

Is Berman really discussing LEGO forts right now?

Ansah v Mingo shouldn’t even be a debate.  One guy entered this past season as a draft pick, the other MIGHT have gotten a camp invite.

Draft interrupted to pick up dinner and sister at the train station.  Doesn’t look like I missed a whole lot.

Dee Milliner to the Jets  So you trade your all pro CB to then draft a CB.  More NFL GM logic

The Old Spice bar soap ad.  Not sure what I’d do if I had a constant shower.  You’d be incredibly pruny

The Titans select Chance Warmack.  Gotta love that he is comfortable enough to go with the belly jersey

Nick Saban sighting.  I’m sure he has a designated chair at the draft by now

Iron Man 3!!!!  Comic nerds and draft nerds have a lot in common.  Neither is getting laid all that often

The Taco Bell Happier Hour is kind of a genius concept.  What will they come up with next?  A Dorito flavored taco shell.  Too late.

DJ Fluker

The Bama dominance is comical

DJ Hayden to Oakland.  Son I hope you make it out of there.  May the odds be forever in your favor

Mark Sanchez you hear that?  They are looking at Geno Smith.  Your days are numbered friend

#FreeTimTebow

Boomer suggesting Tebow go play for the Montreal Alouiettes and then return to the NFL.

Sheldon Richardson does have an exquisite beard.  In addition to the beard Sheldon has the best jewelry of the night.

Somehow Floyd and Star remain on the draft board.

There goes Star ending my interest in the Eagles getting back into the first round

I’m beginning to feel the meat sweats right now after housing a cheesesteak and two pieces of buffalo chicken pizza.

For those out there that aren’t worried about football going away I’ll direct you to the USA football ads stressing that coaches will be certified how to coach.  Enjoy the draft cause the number of drafts left is dwindling.

Saints Team Needs:  Get rid of Roger Goddell

We should be able to hear the boos from NOLA when Goddell comes to the podium

Vaccaro doesn’t play like a traditional safety, he plays like a nickel corner.  Translation not a starter.

I don’t understand the infatuation with Manuel.  He found minimal success at FSU.  And that is being kind.

Your 2013 Buffalo Bills!!!!

Gruden:   Charasmatic vibe you love.

Doesn’t throw the ball well though

He will look good coming off the bus though

Again ignoring production (Smith) for potential (Manuel)

Buffalo will be looking for a QB again in 3 years.  Take that to the bank

Geno Smith is on suicide watch now.

Why are they continually referring to players as “A Jarvis Jones”

Steelers reliable to make a smart pick the same way Mrs. Lanningham was always reliable on West Wing

So it took 17 picks for the most productive defender to get drafted.  This is why the Steelers are continually a good team.  And great character.  Unbelievable.

49ers select Eric Reid.  Hard to argue with 49ers draft picks.

Manti Watch is on.

How you like me Noooooooooooow

Giants select Justin Pugh.  As an Eagles fan I’m pleased.  As a Giants fan I wouldn’t be.

Why were the giants the dividing line for Teo?

Teo does seem like a perfect fit for Chicago.

There has been a noticeable lack of on location reports tonight.  I haven’t seen a single look into the war room yet either.  I always like that meta experience of watching a room of guys watching themselves.

Kyle Long to the Bears.  Once a baseball player at FSU but drank his way out.  A developmental prospect in the first round.  Woops

Geno Smith has now slipped out of his suit and into a straight jacket.

Bengals select Tyler Eifert, so a second TE to go with Jermaine Gresham

Bengals coaches high fived each other during their internal mock draft.  Best nugget of news all night.

Witch Doctor Stevie Wonder freaks me out.  Bad advertising Bud Light

Atlanta picks Desmond Trufant.  No opinion

Pot issues be damned Jon Gruden loves Tyrann Mathieu.  I think Jon is forgetting when you pick someone in the first round you are handing them a couple million dollars before they make a tackle

A classy Jets fan was just picked up saying asshole on the air.  I Heart NY

Vikings pick Shariff Floyd.  He also would have looked nice in Eagle green.

Why show up as a QB?  What is the upside?  A hug from Goddell?  A couple nights out in the Meat Packing District?  Stay home avoid the cameras.

NFL Europe’s very own Bjoern Werner goes to the Colts

No idea what Gruden means by Werner having a high factor grade

Bob Holtzman finally on location in MN

Datone Jones to the Packers.  Gruden is excited

DeAndre Hopkins wearing the Texans flat brim well

Heads up football ad count is at 7.  Just saying.  Bruce arians red kangol hat has to be the story of the draft so far.

Denver breaks my heart picking Sylvester Williams, the last of the big time DTs

There has been a trade.  New England moves back for the 13th time in 14 years.  Minnesota pulls a Madden by finishing the night with 3 first round picks

Still respect the hell out of Joe Andruzzi.

They just had to drown out a screaming fan with Sweet Caroline.  Only at the NFL Draft.

Cordalle Patterson will be having balls thrown to him by Christian Ponder.  Excitement abound.  The dinner jacket is wonderful

Shit I passed out before the round ended.  Sounds about right for the 2013 NFL Draft.

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