Burner Phone


photo(8)After my iPhone succumbed to the waters’ of Lake Michigan I had no choice but to return to the original green screened phone.  It’s not all bad, cause there are actually some perks to having a P.O.S. phone again.  However anyone that tells you they “kind of like not having an iPhone cause it’s freeing,” is full of shit.  Here are some of the perks of the burner though.

  • Cost of the burner, $ 15.00.  It’s basically disposable, so if you lose it no big deal.  It actually costs more to return the phone than to keep it.  The return fee is $ 35.00.
  • Anti-theft device.  Again since the phone is such a piece of shit nobody is going take the risk of stealing it, so you can leave it on the table at the bar without concern.  The only thing that might happen is a waiter or bartender might throw it away cause they think it is garbage.
  • Good conversation starter, cause everyone wants to know why you have the same phone Wallace did in The Wire
  • Battery life of the burner is like 5 days at minimum
  • T9 Word
  • Always have an excuse not to pick up cause, “since I don’t have an iPhone I don’t have it on me.”
  • Pay more attention to others since you can’t check sports scores or Twitter.
  • Built in excuse to miss plans with someone cause your calender is gone.
  • Contacts wiped clean of all those people that litter your list, but you haven’t called since 50 Cent was relevant.
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