Instead of spending 800 words talking about Miley, stoned bears, flesh colored bikinis, and whether or not Robin Thicke had a chub I’m going limit my thoughts on Miley Cyrus’ performance to a couple quick thoughts. First I can’t remember the last time I saw an entertainer tried that hard to be edgy. And second, we all need to take a breathe, yes the performance was provocative, but at past VMAs we have had the pleasure of once watching Madonna masturbate on stage and on another occasion have Britaney whale tail the audience for 5 minutes while she sang “I’m a Slave 4 U.”
Now onto the more for part of the post, ranking my top 5 VMA performances of all time.
5. R. Kelly Trapped In The Closet
If you think the most confused a VMA audience has been was when Lady Gaga performed for the first time you have been sorely mistaken. Robert’s hip hopera had everyone scratching their head.
4. Kanye West & T-Pain Good Life
The parade of awkward party goers Kanye strolls by while rapping still make me laugh. They definitely need to take the VMAs back to Vegas.
3. Jessica Simpson With You and Angels
I’ll go turn in my man card as soon as I finish this post. Promise.
2. P. Diddy, 112, Faith Evans, & Sting I’ll Be Missing You/Every Breathe You Take
The union of some of my favorite things gospel choirs, Sting and Puffy’s dance moves. I wore out at least three copies of this CD in 1997.
1. Michael Jackson Medley
15 minutes. 15 minutes. He got 15 minutes for himself. Never been done again.