We Are In The Future


A couple years ago my old roommate Will and I dressed up as “the future” for Halloween.  We chose the idea because, one we were going to an Avicii concert that night, and two we had forgotten about Halloween and decided to mail in our costume ideas.  Our concept of the future was pretty simple, everything needed to be neon.  I chose a  neon yellow t shirt with Carlton from Fresh Prince face on it and the tackiest board shorts I owned that were purchased in Australia like 5 years prior.  Will went with a neon blue wind breaker, no shirt underneath, and white mesh shorts.  To accessorize I had a pink bandana along with yellow and purple sunglasses.  Will donned a visor that had a dark face shield over it.  Like something you’d see a welder use.  Add some stern mugs for any photos taken and that was it.  It was absurd, but it worked that night.  The thing is I had no idea that “the future” would arrive as quickly as it did.

This past month or so again and again I’ve come across a device, seen an ad, or had a friend show me something that has lead me to believe the future has arrived.  3D television was pretty awesome, but these next few gadgets I’m about to show you have totally blown my mind.  Prepare accordingly.

The iPhone thumbprint scanner

Maybe some people aren’t blown away by this, and I did see an article claiming that hackers have already found a way to bypass this, but I still think it is pretty awesome.  Just about every big budget action movie of the last 20 plus years has had that scene where either the thief or the hero needs to gain access to the vault or whatever by getting pass the thumbprint scan.  Mission Impossible and National Treasure are the movies that immediately come to mind for me.  Well we’ve now advanced to the point where everyone’s smart phone will be secured with their thumbprint.  That’s wild if you ask me.  Not that I think it is necessary, I mean the most sensitive material on my phone is probably some embarrassing Google searches like “Christina Hendricks NSFW photos” or “song at beginning of Stomp The Yard”.  Still the fact that a large number of people today have access to this type of security is pretty cool.

We’ve all seen the Google Glass ad by now so I don’t think it is necessary to explain what it is.  I’ll say this though, as someone who can be easily distracted wearing these would be just a terrible idea.  I’d end up driving through the front of a Panera while Googling “Between Two Ferns” videos.  The second thing I have to say about Google Glass is if I was wearing I’d most definitely feel like Arnold in T2, so that would be a positive.

My buddy Steve showed me this one this weekend and it blew my mind.  I take issue with the ad making fun of the single friend since I’m not in the minority single group.  But whatever this device is bananas.  Knowing me though every time a friend would send me an invitation I’d get to the door and my phone would be dead.  Also assuming everyone has a smartphone is a dangerous game.  I have first hand knowledge of this having recently been the proud owner of a burner phone.

James Bond had this device.  What else do I need to say?

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